


Some Kind of Crisis and a Birthday

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-14
Updated: 2004-04-14
Packaged: 2019-05-30 11:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15095855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: The President falls ill while the staffers try to plan a surprise party for Toby.





	Some Kind of Crisis and a Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Some Kind of Crisis and a Birthday**

**by:** LauraH2215

**Character(s):** CJ, Toby, Josh, Donna, Leo, The President  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Toby  
**Category(s):** Romance/Drama  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** The staffers try to plan a surprise party for Toby while the President falls il. Will this be the end of the Bartlet Administration, or just the beginning of friendships that will last a lifetime?  
**Author's Note:** This is my first West Wing fanfic. I've only been watching the show for about 8 weeks, but I'm addicted. I'm a young (16 years old) aspiring writer/politician. Hope you enjoy it. Feedback is welcome. Please excuse any and all incosistencies. 

PART 1 

"That's all folks. Will, tell Toby I wanna talk to him after he gets back from his meeting. Now, get back to work, all of you." Leo, Chief-of Staff, declared, placing his glasses back on and staring at the piece of paper on his desk, while scratching his sandy hair. They had 

just finished up morning staff, and Leo was anxious to get back to the day. Surprisingly, he thought something would actually get done today at the White House today. Provided, of course, that some kind of war doesn't break out, no important person die, and no major P.R problem surfaces. Okay, that would be a day in paradise in the West Wing. 

"Wait, just a second." CJ stands in front of the door, not letting the others exit. "Has anyone planned anything for Toby's birthday?" 

"No." Everyone mumbles. 

CJ fixes them with one of her death stares more commonly recognizable to the White House Press Corp. "His birthday is in less than a month away. He's going to be 45. That's five years past 40, or five years away from 50, which ever way you want to look at it." She attempted at humour to lighten the thick mood in the room. 

"Then we have five years to plan for his 50th. Let's go." Josh runs his fingers through his light curly hair as he attempts the door again, but CJ won't let him out. 

"Josh, I'm serious. This is one of our co-workers, and our friend. Are you guys honestly telling me you're just going to forget his birthday?" CJ steps away from the door, slightly. 

Toby's "assitant" Communications Director, Will, laughs lightly. "We never celebrate anyone else's around here." 

"Yeah, CJ, no body remembered mine." Josh, Leo's Deputy Chief-of-Staff, states in his humorous attempt at seriousness. 

"That's because you're a fascist Yankee jackass, Josh." CJ states, rolling her eyes. 

"Wait a minute, I think I've heard you call me that before." Josh laughs. 

"Oh, for God's sake." Leo rolls his eyes dramatically as he redirects his attention to the people at his door. "CJ, we'll think of something to do for Toby's birthday, if it means that much to you. Now I really have to get back to work, so get the hell out of my 

office." 

"Yes, sir." Will mock salutes as everyone files out of the room. 

Once the door shuts, Josh turns to CJ. "You know you only yell at me because you're secretly in love with me, right?" 

"You're a pig, Josh. Go back to the place you call your office, which, by the way, Donna really owns." CJ lifts her shoulders, flicks her dark reddish-brown hair, and stomps off, triumphantly. It may be hard to work with the same people seven days a week, but it was times like these when they could all joke that she really didn't mind being Press Secretary. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Donnatella Moss, my faithful comrade, bring me some coffee." Josh announces loudly as he flops into the plush chair behind his desk. 

A young, petite blond appears at his door and glares at him. "What do you want coffee for?" 

"Why do you ask? I don't justify my requests to you, you just do them." Josh places his hands behind his back and sits back. Apparently this was a good day for him, too. 

"Actually, Josh, I do what's best for you, and everything else you're just lucky to get." Donna replies softly. 

"I could get a new assistant , ya know." Josh states, turning to read something on his computer. 

"You wouldn't be able to function without me." 

"You should be nice to me. I could die at any moment, ya know? Just suddenly drop dead on the floor, or choke on something, or drown." 

"I'll go get you an inflatable pool." Donna remarks coolly as she steps out of the office. 

"God, I love her." Josh laughs. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Go on in." Ginger says to CJ as she points towards Toby's open office door. 

"Thanks," CJ replies and makes her way to the open door. 

"Just, hold on a second." Toby says to the person on the other lineof the phone he's holding as he notices CJ in the door frame. "What do you want?" 

"Just to talk." CJ replies emotionlessly. 

"Okay, okay then." Toby turns his attention back to the caller. "Alright, fine, see you then. Bye." He turns back to CJ. "Wanna take a seat?" 

"No, I have to get to the briefing. I was just wondering what you want for your birthday." 

Toby looks at her confusedly. "I have a birthday coming up? Oh, yeah. But it's not for another month or so." 

"So, I wanted a head start. And I didn't want to forget your birthday. So what da ya want?" CJ asks, shifting her weight. 

"CJ, did you forget my birthday last year? Wait, did I forget yours?" Toby asks, suddenly feeling guilty that he had forgotten one of his best friend's birthdays. 

CJ laughs softly. "Yeah, I sent you a card, remember? And I can't remember whether you did anything for me or not; I don't keep track of things like that." 

"But you remembered this?" 

"Well, yeah, you're my friend Toby. I've known you for over 20 years, I think I'd remember your birthday." 

"Okay, well, I don't know. I gotta go talk to Leo about my meeting with Congressman Gyner. Good luck at the briefing." He pats her shoulder as he brushes past her. 

"Wait! Toby, I really want to know what to get you this year. Get back to me, okay?" 

Toby turns around and nods. Seeing the warmth and sincerity in his best friend's eyes, he smiles. "Will do." 

CJ never forgets, he thinks to himself. She's always been there for me in so many ways over the last two decades. One of these days I have to do something really special for her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

PART 2 

"That's all, folks. See you at the afternoon briefing. Try not to miss me too much." CJ winks and heads off stage, closing her eyes to the shouting of her name and the flashing of the cameras. 

Her assistant, Carol, greets her at the door of the Press Room. "Toby said he wanted to see you at your earliest convenience. Nothing important, he just wanted to ask you a favour." 

"What does he want?" CJ asks, skimming through a file in her hands. 

"I don't know. He didn't say." 

"Why not?" 

"Does he ever say?" 

CJ stops. "No. Thanks." She enters her office to see Toby laying back casually in her chair behind her desk. 

"How do you know this is my earliest convenience?" CJ asks, walking up to her desk. 

"I had Carol check your itinerary." Toby smiles meekly. 

"Out of my chair. What do you want? You got an idea about what you want for your birthday?" CJ moves in to sit in her chair after Toby gets off of it. 

"No, not yet. I was wondering if you could do me a really big favour." Toby sits on the couch. 

"What?" CJ asks, directing her attention to a pending memo on her desk. 

"What have you got planned for your big weekend off?" Toby asks, leaning back. 

"Well, it's the one weekend in a million that I'm not supposed to be here, so I'll probably drop by the office early Saturday morning. Just to check in, ya know?" 

"Wow, Ceej, you really know how to live life to the fullest." Toby remarks sarcastically. 

"What's your favour, Pokey?" Now that the joking had begun, nick names were appropriate. 

"Sit with me tonight." Toby states, shifting his hands to the pocket of his tailored suit. 

"Sit with you?" CJ places her glasses on and looks at Toby to explain. 

"Uh...babysit, that is. Andy's decided to let me take the twins every other weekend, and this is my first weekend alone with them. It may sound bad, but I don't really want to do it alone. I'm afraid I'll like...lose them or something. And CJ, they're my only two kids." 

CJ laughs out loud. "Toby, they're ten months-old. They can't even walk yet. I doubt you're going to lose them." 

"What if they tag team me? I've seen the way Huck eyes me suspiciously." 

"Toby, this isn't like you. You're like nervous about nothing." 

"I know. And it'd probably be fine, but can't you please just help me out? I'll owe you." 

"You already owe me immensely. But yeah, I guess I can do it. You want me to come over tonight after work?" 

"No, not exactly." Toby begins, almost nervously. "I thought maybe on your lunch you could run home and grab an over night bag and stay the weekend...Just until Sunday morning when Andy's picking them up." 

Truth be told, Toby just wanted his ex-wife, Andy, to see that he was responsible and despite his job, he really could take care of their twins. 

"Toby, don't you see a problem? You have a two bedroom apartment. One room you converted into a bedroom for the twins. Don't you think it'll be a little crowded with me there?" CJ asks, her attention is now completely on Toby. 

"That's why I figured I'd give you my room, and I'd take the couch, seeing as it's not long enough for you to stretch out on." He crackeda smile. He was the only one she'd tolerate cracking jokes about her height. 

"You really know how to sway me, ya know that? Fine. I'll give up my only weekend off for you. But only because there is children involved, and I don't want you to like kill them or anything." 

"Thanks. I appreciate it. I'll drop by your office when I'm done tonight. We gotta go to Andy's to pick them up." 

CJ rolled her eyes. This was hardly going to be a stress-free weekend being cooped up with two babies and a best friend who she secretly had had some varying feelings for for the past twenty years. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Mr. President, he said he'd give us a legislative agenda that would cause us so many problems you'd be forced to resign. He's going to put school prayer, social security, gays in the military, you name it, front and centre." Leo was addressing some of the day's little 

problems to the president this evening. 

"Leo," President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet began. "Have you ever heard Josh tell someone to take their legislative agenda and shove it up their ass?" 

Leo's eyes widen in surprise. "Yes, sir, I believe I heard him tell a senator that once." 

"Sometimes we can learn from Josh. Hold on, did I say that?" The President looks at the papers in his hands, confused. "Anyway, the point is, Leo, that you don't need to worry about. Now, go." 

Leo stand up and gathers his files. "Thank you, Mr. President." 

"Thank you, Leo." The President gets off the couch and walks back to his desk in the Oval Office. 

The President's aide, Charlie, enters. "Sir, I just received word that your daughter Zoey has safely arrived. She'll be at the Residence in a matter of a couple of hours." 

"Thank you., Charlie. Will you please tell whoever is in charge of feeding me and my wife that our youngest daughter is in town and that it is imperative that we have chilli for dinner tonight." 

"Yes, sir. Have a great night, sir." Charlie goes to exit. 

"Wait a minute, Charlie. Did you say earlier that Admirable Fitzwallace wanted to see me tonight?" 

"Uh, yes sir. Something about nuclear activity around Israel." 

"Wonderful." The President replies sarcastically. "I hope you sleep better than I will tonight." 

"All part of the job, sir." Charlie smiles and closes the door behind him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Josh, there's a rumour going around that we're having a surprise party for Toby's birthday." Donna states unenthusiastically as she enters Josh's office. 

"Where'd you hear that?" Josh is leafing through some files on his desk and he suddenly scrunches up his face in disgust. "I have to meet with Senator Johnson on Monday... And John Hoynes? God, who makes my schedule?" 

"I do, Josh. And you didn't answer my question. Are we having a surprise party for Toby?" 

"And you didn't answer mine. Where'd you hear that?" Josh stands up, ready to abandon his desk and the dreary list of things he had to do that it held. 

"Well," Donna began, following Josh out of the office. "Leo told Margaret, who told Carol, who told me." 

"You guys know that you're not supposed to talk to one another about stuff like that, right?" Josh steps back into his office to grab his back pack. 

"Us who?" 

"You guys, the assistants." 

"It sounds like you think we're just supposed to ignore everything that goes on around here and just serve you without complaint." 

Josh smiles. "That's what we pay you to do." 

"You really are a jack-ass, you know that Josh?" Donna teases, knowing Josh was only teasing and that he truly did appreciate her and all the other assistants. 

"And you really have stolen my heart away, Donna." Josh smiles. He goes to head out the door, then stops. "Toby's going to be 45. That's old." 

"You're not that far behind him." Donna comments, slipping on her coat. 

"I am way far behind him." Josh convicts. 

"You're 42, Josh." Donna says without emotion. 

"I'm.. 41, Donna." Josh has to think about it. 

"It was two years ago we had that party in Manchester for your 40th. You're 42." Donna says with even more conviction. 

"Well, if I'm 42, which is still in question, that would make you....?" 

Donna gives him a daring look. 

Josh shrinks. "Twenty.... Three?" 

Donna smiles triumphantly. "I take back what I said, you're not a jack-ass." 

"You really know the way to a man's heart, Donnatella." Josh jokes, opening the door for her. 

"So much charm, so many men." Donna winks and steps outside. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

PART 3 

"You ready?" Toby pokes his head into CJ's office later that night. 

"Yeah, you bet." CJ doesn't take her eyes off the computer screen, but starts to gather some things on her desk. After a minute, she shuts down the computer, grabs her stuff and joins Toby just outside her office. 

"Andy's expecting us soon, so we better hurry." Toby states. "Did you get an over-night bag ready?" He looks at the contents she's carrying and notices a rather large suitcase. 

"A suitcase." CJ states, almost dryly. 

"Hey, CJ, if you don't want to do this, I understand. I don't want to ruin your weekend." Toby says, taking the suitcase from her into his free hand. 

"It's not you, Toby. I didn't have a very good day. At the afternoon briefing I made a huge mistake and I have to wait until Monday to correct it. Leo got pissed at me and told me to stop acting like this was my first day on the job." 

"CJ, you realize you don't have to listen to him. He's not your boss, I am..well, only technically. And after five years here, I think you're entitled to a mistake or two." 

"He's the Chief-of-Staff. We all listen to him...even the President. Anyway, enough about work. Let's make this a work-free weekend and not talk about anything to do with anything that has even remotely anything to do with our jobs." 

"I've never heard anyone use `anything' so many times in one sentence." Toby remarks dryly. 

"Well, you haven't heard anything yet." CJ smiles, glad she had decided to really leave her work at the office. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Toby, how are you? Come in." The beautiful redhead ushers Toby inside her house. She spots CJ standing behind him and smiles. "CJ, I didn't know you'd be coming. It's nice to see you again." 

"It's nice to see you, too, Andy." CJ smiles and follows Toby' s lead into the foyer. 

CJ and Andy had always gotten along fine, despite the original tension. When Andy and Toby had first started dating, Andy would sometimes get jealous of CJ and the attention Toby paid her whenever she visited. CJ and Toby had been friends since college, and there 

was always an unquenchable chemistry between them that didn't go unnoticed to her, or anyone at the White House. 

"I just fed them their supper, so they should be fine for a while. You know where the nursery is." Andy let Toby and CJ wonder into the nursery. 

CJ had to admit that for a single mother, Andy did remarkably well. Well, of course she would, she's a Congresswoman, CJ thought. Not only that, but Andy had the looks to win any man over. She was cute, small and had a great smile and terrific brain. CJ knew she didn't stand a chance against a woman like that. Although, it had been over a year and a half since Andy and Toby had had any romantic encountering. 

"They get bigger every time I see them." Toby states as he reaches into the crib to lift them out. "CJ's gonna help me this weekend. It's not that I can't do it by myself, I just thought they might miss having a woman around." Toby knew at once that he shouldn't have told Andy that. It made him look irresponsible, and like he was trying to replace her with CJ. 

"That sounds nice." Andy smiles. She knew it was more than that, but she didn't want to make either of them more uncomfortable than they already were. CJ looked slightly guilty as she took one of the babies from Toby's outstretched arms. 

"We promise to return them in the same order they came in." CJ laughed, trying to lighten the mood. 

"I'm sure you will. Anyway, here's there bag. Everything you need should be in there, and anything else you can pick up along the way. They really are good kids. I don't anticipate any problems." 

"Most problems are not anticipated or they wouldn't really become problems." Toby said in all seriousness. 

"You'll be fine." Andy assured him. "Do you guys want to stay for a drink or something?" 

Toby glanced at CJ holding his son. "No, it's been a long day. I think we'll just take these guys home and get them to bed." 

"Alright then. Call if you need anything. If nothing goes wrong, I'll see you Sunday." She pauses briefly to give Toby a quick peck on the cheek. "Be nice. They miss their daddy." She said in all sweetness. 

CJ suddenly picked up a vibe that said some part of Andy was trying to win Toby back. But she knew deep down that neither of them really wanted to get back together, so she had nothing to worry about. 

"Okay. Bye. See ya Sunday." Toby and CJ filed out of the door carrying the twins, their car seats and just about everything else they'd need for the weekend. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Okay, you've been here many times before so there's no need for any kind of tour, I presume?" Toby said as he and Toby set the babies down on the couch in the living room. 

Toby's apartment was nice, but modest. When you walked in you entered the kitchen and living room area. There was a small hall that contained two bedrooms and a bathroom, and the whole place had a cozy feel, but it also said that he was obviously a bachelor. A busy bachelor because some things weren't where they belonged in his place. 

"That's right. Toby, these kids haven't even moved since we got them, and they're not sleeping. Are they normally this quiet?" 

"Yeah, usually. They're good kids. Especially Molly. Isn't her little dress cute?" Toby asked as lifted her into his arms. 

"Toby Ziegler, Communications Director and Proud Father." CJ laughed. 

It was apparent that his children brought out the soften side of him. Toby wasn't used to being overly expressive with feelings, but he desperately wanted to build a good relationship with his babies. "Leave me alone, alright. I never get to see them." 

"I know. Actually, I think it's cute. I love babies." 

"I know. That's your biggest regret-not getting married and having kids." He wasn't saying it to remind her of her failed relationships, he was just demonstrating that he understood. 

"I know. And now I'm probably way too old. And, it's too late anyway. Let's uh, let's get these two to bed." 

"No, I want to sit with them for as long as I can. Why don't you go grab a bath, and I can start dinner for us." Toby places Huck and Molly into their portable playpen he had set up next to the coffee table in front of the t.v. 

"A bath?" CJ asks in disbelief as she packs up their things and goes to put them in their room. 

"Yeah," Toby calls. "It's supposed to be your weekend to relax. Why not start now? I can open a bottle of wine." 

CJ peeks her head around and the corner and walks into the kitchen. "Wine? Now you've got me hooked." 

"Alright. I can go start the water for you, show you where all the stuff is, and grab you a towel." Toby steps into action. 

Maybe this weekend wouldn't be so bad, CJ thought. Toby is doing so much to make sure it goes well for all of us. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

CJ leans back into the tub and lets the cool surface contrast the warm water as she takes in a flowery scent. She couldn't remember the last time she had taken a bath, or the last time she had the opportunity to relax like this. 

Her train of peaceful thought is broken when one of the babies begins to cry. She can hear Toby grumbling-something more familiar to her than his smiling and warm voice tonight- and the baby starts to wail louder. 

"CJ," Toby knocks on the door, his voice impatient and nervous. 

"Hold on. I'll be out in a second." CJ calls back. 

"Please hurry." Toby sounded desperate. 

A few minutes later, CJ appears in the hallway door frame, wrapped in only a towel. 

Toby looks at her and almost laughs. She looks so different than she does at the office right now. "Molly stopped crying. You can go get dressed." Toby offered. 

"Toby, there's a little problem." CJ states with a sigh. 

"What?" He asks, getting up from the couch to walk to the kitchen. 

"I must have forgotten to pack pajamas in my haste to get ready at lunch." 

"You don't have pajamas here?" Toby asked, pouring a glass of wine. 

"Yeah. I'm good, huh? So, do you maybe have something I could borrow. Ya know, so I'm not sleeping in your bed with just my bra and underwear on." 

Whoa! Toby immediately thought. Okay, get that provocative image out of your head you horny old man, he told himself. He had to clear his throat before he could answer her. "Uh, yeah, sure. Follow me." Toby came into the hallway and brushed past her, entering his room. 

He begins to search through some dresser drawers until he picks up an old grey shirt. "Okay, you can wear my Yankees t-shirt, but you gotta promise not to steal it or spill anything on it." He warns. 

CJ laughs from her position against the door. "Toby, are you honestly telling me I have to be careful not to spill anything on your stupid Yankees shirt?" 

"Okay, just for calling it stupid, you don't get to wear a shirt to bed." Toby shrugged, trying to be serious. 

"Bet you'd like that." CJ smiles coyly. "Come on, Toby, I need toget dressed. I'm freezing." She whines. 

"Fine." He tosses her the shirt, then pauses to stare at her. It wasn't fair that he had wanted her for twenty years and couldn't have what stood in front of him. It wasn't just physical, she was his best friend and there was so much he wanted to do for her.. With her. Okay, idiot, keep staring and she'll be out of here quicker than you can say `No, I was staring at your face, really.' 

"Hmm...Toby, some bottoms, maybe?" She looked at him to finish the task. 

"You need bottoms, too?" Toby joked. 

"Well, I wouldn't want to scare the children, now would I?" CJ rolled her eyes. 

"Okay, okay." Toby sighed, then began searching the drawer again. He finds a pear of boxers and tosses them to her. 

"Boxer shorts? What, no pants?" She looks down at the small bundle in her hand. 

"CJ, do you really wear pants to bed in April? Besides, none of my pants would be long enough for you." 

"You're purposely making this hard, aren't you?" 

"Just wear the damn shorts." Toby ordered, actually getting a little annoyed with the conversation. 

"Fine, but you're the one that's going to have to put up with my long, hairy legs." CJ shrugs, stepping out into the hall to go into the bathroom. 

"There's really no appropriate way for me to respond to that." Toby says dumbly. 

* * *

PART 4 

After eating dinner and killing a bottle of wine, Toby and CJ were completely comfortable sitting back on the couch and watching t.v. The twins were beginning to fall asleep in their playpen, and for once the t.v wasn't turned to CNN or C-SPAN. It was nothing short of a miracle. 

CJ begins flipping through the channels when the program they were watching ends. "Ooo, you wanna stay up and watch `The American President`" She smiled wildly. 

Toby glared. "No. We are not watching anything that attempts to make humour out of what we do." 

"Fine, I was just teasing. We better get these guys to bed. It's late." CJ stands up. 

Toby has to admit that CJ had never looked cuter than she did in his pajamas. She picks up Molly and carries her into the make shift bedroom. Toby follows with Huck. 

After CJ carefully tucks Molly into the crib, she turns around to smile at Toby. "They're so peaceful when they're sleeping. God, you're lucky , Toby." 

Toby cautiously sets his son down in the crib. "I know. But hey, anytime you want to see them is okay with me." 

CJ smiles thankfully. "I might take you up on the offer, Pokey." 

Once they're positive the babies are asleep, they both wander back tothe living room. 

"This is nice, isn't it?" CJ asks as she wraps the quilt lying on the couch around herself and sits down. 

"What is?" Toby asks, taking his seat beside her. 

"Seeing each other outside of work." Sometimes it felt like they had seen each other more before they came to work for the Bartlet Administration-before they practically came to live in the West Wing. Work had complicated their relationship immensely. 

"Yeah, it is. And, uh, thanks for helping me out." Toby states awkwardly. 

"No problem." CJ says as she yawns. "I think I'm going to call it a night." She says. 

"Oh, okay. You need anything before you go to bed?" Toby asks, taking the remote control from her. 

"No, I'm good." 

"Okay, if you need anything you know where to find me." 

"Yep." CJ begins to walk down the hall when she remembers something. "Don't forget to keep the baby monitor on." She calls back. 

Toby smiles. I could get used to this. This, CJ in my apartment, in my clothes, helping me with my kids. This is the way it should be. This is what feels right. If only I could get enough guts to tell her what she means to me. That's it's not enough just to be friends with her. But, she deserves more than this crappy apartment and two part- 

time children. She needs a man who can give her everything. Someone who isn't working eighteen hour days along side her, and who can come home and cook a decent meal at a decent hour and have enough energy to take care of her. That's what she needs. He had no business having feelings for her. Hell, twenty years he's been putting his feelings in the closet, and he could damn well do it for another twenty...Provided, of course, that they didn't have any weekends like this again. 

* * *

CJ lies back in Toby's bed and breathes in his familiar scent off the pillows and sheets, thinking that she hadn't felt this at ease in a long time. In a business that literally never sleeps, it's often hard for her to string more than four or five hours of sleep together consecutively, let alone be able to go home and enjoy a good dinner and a bath. And being with Toby and his babies added to the weekend and ensured that it wouldn't be boring. Maybe she wouldn't even pick up her cell phone and call in tomorrow. Maybe she'd lounge around inToby's pajamas and watch movies all day. She didn't really know, nor did she care. For the time being, all her defences were down, and she 

was enjoying herself. 

* * *

"CJ, CJ!" 

CJ moaned as she felt someone shaking her shoulder. The next thing she knew something in the room started crying and Toby was calling her name again. 

"CJ, I'm sorry, please wake up." 

She shook her head and rolled herself on her back so she could see Toby. "What's up?" She asked, groggily. 

Toby began, already out of breath. "Molly won't stop crying. I don't know what to do. I tried changing her, and feeding her, and rocking her and..." 

CJ props herself up on her elbows, noticing for the first time that Toby is shirtless. Not that it would matter, she just wasn't accustom to him wearing anything but a suit, let alone nothing at all. 

"CJ!" Toby demanded her attention. 

"Okay, okay. Give her to me." CJ reaches out her arms to take the sobbing infant. She holds her close and begins rocking her back and forth. "It's okay, there. Everything's going to be okay." 

"Thanks," Toby huffs, placing his hands on his hips. 

"I was talking to your daughter." CJ laughs lightly. "But I'm glad you're feeling better." 

"So, what's wrong with her?" Toby asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"I don't know." CJ shifts the baby in her arms, and feels her forehead and cheeks. "She's a bit warm. She may have a fever. Do you have a thermometer?" 

"Yeah, the one you stick in meat to see if it's cooked." Toby states. 

"I don't think that will work." CJ rolls her eyes, but smiles. 

"Should I take her to a doctor?" Toby asks quickly. 

"No, I don't think so. Kids run fevers all the time. See if you can find some Tylenol for her, and she might be fine." 

Toby quickly when to retrieve the Tylenol. 

Once Molly finally took the medicine, CJ lied her down on Toby's bed and lied down beside her. 

"What are you doing?" Toby asked when CJ settled in. 

"I'll stay with her until she falls asleep. Then I'll take her back to the room. Go on, go back to bed. She's fine." 

"Are you sure?" Toby asks uncertainly as he stand up off the bed. 

"Yes, go on." CJ offers him a comforting smile. 

Thank God she's here, Toby thinks as he walks out of the bedroom. He smiles to himself, remembering the small detail that CJ didn't wear a bra to bed. 

* * *

Early in the morning, Toby woke up with a deep sense of panic. His sleep had been good enough, but he suddenly got the feeling that something was wrong. It dawned on him that his daughter hadn't been feeling well last night. He quickly jumps off the couch and rushes to his room, where he was sure CJ had fell asleep with Molly. 

He peeks in to find neither of the girls there, and starts to panic. "CJ," He calls down the small hall. He enters the babies' room to find CJ curled up with Molly in her arms in a an arm chair. She must have fallen asleep when she was trying to get Molly to go back to sleep, he thinks to himself. 

He smiles to himself as he makes his way around to the corner of the room where the arm chair sat. He lifted his daughter out of CJ's arms and tucked her back into the crib alongside her twin brother. He then goes back to the chair and shakes CJ's shoulder. "CJ, time to go back to your bed." He says, trying to keep his voice low and even. 

CJ merely mumbles. 

Toby rolls his eyes at the realization that if he wanted his friend to be comfortable, he was going to have to take her back to his room the hard way. When he lifts her up and over his shoulder, he's pleasantly surprised to learn that she wasn't as heavy as her height would deceive someone to think. 

She mumbles something against his neck as he sets her down on the bed. "Good night, Claudia Jean. Or should I say, good morning." He lets his hands linger on her shoulders until he forces himself to pull away from her. 

* * *

Later in the morning, CJ wakes up with a sense of warmth as she turns in the sheets on Toby's bed. It took her a second to recognize where she was, but as soon as she did, she couldn't help but smile. She didn't want to get up and pull herself away from this peaceful trance., but she knew she had to. Quickly putting her bra back on, 

she gets up and heads out to the living room, where she could hear noise coming from the t.v and kitchen. 

She walks in to see Toby sitting on the couch, bouncing his two babies on his lap and singing to them softly. 

CJ smiles brighter that she had in a long time. "`Hush Little Baby' was always my favourite baby song, too." She smiled at Toby, remembering the lyrics and melody of the song he was singing and humming. 

Embarrassed that she had seen him sing, Toby clears his throat. "Yeah, uh, mine too. So, how'd you sleep?" He asks, taking the children one by one and placing them back into their playpen in front of him. 

"Just fine, thanks to you." She offered him a grateful smile. 

Toby blushed. "You fell asleep, you didn't want to wake up. I had no choice." 

CJ sits on the opposite side of the couch. "I know. And thanks for that." 

"Hey, it was the least I could do. I had to wake you up to tend to my responsibility." 

"I don't mind in the least, Toby. Has anyone from the office called yet?" CJ asks, standing up and walking to the kitchen. 

"No, but I wouldn't know. I burned your cell phone and pager for you last night." 

CJ glared at him after checking the coffee pot. "You wouldn't dare. I couldn't function without my technology. Is this coffee new?" 

Toby nods. "Help yourself. I'm going to start breakfast in a minute." 

"How's Molly feeling this morning?" CJ asks, pouring herself a cup into a mug that was laid out on the table for her. 

"Better. I figured out why she wasn't feeling well. I think she's getting some new teeth in. She's been chewing on things all morning. That might cause her to cry, right?" 

"Yeah, that would. Good for you for figuring that out ,Toby." CJ congratulations him sincerely. 

"I'm not a complete amateur." Toby stands up and walks to join CJ in the kitchen. "So, what do you want to eat?" He asks, opening the fridge and examining the contents. 

"How about roast duck... or greek salad. Ooo... you know what would really be good right now? Vegetable soup, or those little goldfish crackers." 

Toby glared at her. "I got eggs." 

CJ laughed playfully. "That's fine." 

Toby starts the eggs and CJ goes back to watching t.v. This time, she can't help but change the channel to CNN. Toby eventually comes over to sit beside her, watching the national happenings from his living room couch. 

The phone on the coffee table in front of them starts to ring. Toby grabs it on the second ring. 

"Hello." He answers, obviously annoyed at being bothered at ten in the morning on his day off. 

Leo's voice fills the other line. "You gotta get down here, Toby." 

Recognizing the strain in Leo's voice, Toby quickly sits up. "What's happening?" 

"The President just had a heart attack, Toby. He's at GW.I don't have time to explain because I have to call the others. What's CJ's home number? For some reason I can't find it here." Leo had begun to calm down. 

"Don't bother. She's here with me. We'll be in as soon as we can. See ya." Toby hangs up the phone and looks at CJ who is glancing at him questioningly. 

"What's wrong?" She asks immediately. 

Toby automatically begins to pinch the flesh of the bridge of his nose, something he did regularly under stress. "The President... Had a heart attack." He states emotionlessly. 

PART 5 

Oh my god!" CJ practically screams. "Is he alright? It was just a small one, right? Oh God, Toby, tell me he's going to be fine." Normally CJ could handle something like this. Normally she would jump into Press Secretary mode and want to fly down to the office and address the press, convincing them that the President was going to be 

fine. But now all she could think was that someone she cared about was hurt, and that she usually lost someone when they got hurt. 

"CJ, don't worry. I'm sure he's going to be alright." Toby watched CJ, trying to understand what caused her sudden outburst of emotions. 

CJ flung herself onto the couch and tried to collect herself. It took all she had not to burst out in tears. Why whenever things seemed to be going alright ,did something bad always have to happen? She was Catholic, and greatly believed in faith, but sometimes she felt it had a sick sense of humour. 

Toby stared at CJ impatiently. "CJ, look you gotta get up, get dressed, and go. Come on. Let's get ready to handle this." 

"We shouldn't have to handle this, Toby." CJ mumbles into the pillow she's clutching. Finally, collecting her self, she sits up. Come on, CJ, you're 43 years-old for God's sake, you're not a child, she mentally reprimands herself. "Okay, I'm coming." She takes in a deep breath. "We can do this, right?" She looks at Toby to confirm. 

He nods. "We're going to have to take the kids in, I guess." He points out, watching the children playing, totally oblivious to the adult world around them. 

CJ nodded, wiped the few tears from her face, and decided to hide behind her defences. The same defences she used to protect herself from the White House Press Corp, men who only wanted sex from her, 

and ultimately from getting herself too attached to anyone. 

* * *

"Hey, what did we miss?" Toby asks as he and CJ walk into Leo's office. 

Leo looks up from his desk and simply stares as CJ and Toby walk into his office, both caring a baby in their arms. 

"Who are they?" He asks simply. 

Toby gives Leo an offensive look. "These are my children, Leo." 

Leo actually smiles. "Really? The last time I saw those two they were about as big as my fist. What happened?" 

CJ gives Leo a cold stare. "They grew, Leo. It's hard to believe it, but at one point you were that size, too." 

"Okay, no point in chit-chatting." Leo stands up as CJ takes a seat on the couch, and Toby stands in the corner beside Josh. "As you all know, the President had a heart attack late this morning. He's recovering at George Washington, and so far the doctors haven't be able to give us much more than that. The First Lady and the their 

three daughters are there now, just waiting to see him, but it could be hours before the doctors will let them in. Vice- President Robert Russell is now in charge of the country." Leo rolls his eyes at the last statement, obviously not pleased with leaving the VP with so much responsibility. 

"The Press?" CJ asks, wondering what she'd tell them. 

"Not a word `til we're ready." Leo states. 

"They all know it's supposed to be `Senior Staff Weekend Off', they're going to wonder why we're here." Josh adds. 

"So? Lie. You're all lawyers and politicians of some kind, lie. It's what you do." 

"So what are we supposed to do all day?" Toby asks. From his viewpoint, they couldn't do anything at this time. 

"I don't care what you do. For now, CJ, Toby, work on a statement for the press. Ya know, something light and comforting. Assure them that their president will be back in the Oval Office soon, and that they won't have to worry about Bob Russell causing an international war for much longer." 

"Good, because mentioning the President having a heart attack and an international war in the same sentence is very comforting." Toby states in his dry tone. 

"Work on it." Leo directs. 

Josh takes a step closer to the desk. "What do you want me to do, Leo?" 

Leo sighs and rolls his eyes. "I don't care, Josh. Why don't you help out with security? Make sure none of the press get in here. And hey, before anyone goes: If any of this is leaked to the press, I will hold the three of you personally responsible." 

"Why me? I've got nothing to do with communications." Josh states just as he's about to exit. 

"You're the brains of the operation. Keep the press out, Josh. Now all of you, get out. I'll get back to you as soon I hear from GW." 

CJ and Toby took the babies to Toby's office so his secretaries, Bonnie and Rena, could watch them while they worked. The afternoon went by pretty slowly as they waited for more news on the President's status. 

CJ gave a small briefing at about five o'clock explaining what they knew, and attempting to get some control over the issue. Surprisingly, the Press didn't ask a lot of questions and understood that she didn't have all the information yet. 

A while later, CJ and Toby are back at his office "Come on." CJ practically screamed. "It shouldn't be taking this long." She complained, turning to face Toby who was sitting back in his chair . 

Just then, Rena steps into the office. "Toby, CJ, Leo wants you in his office." 

"Finally," CJ breathes, standing up quickly. 

"Okay, watch Huck and Molly for us, okay?" Toby asks Rena as he grabs his suit jacket and follows CJ out of the office. 

Once outside Leo's office, his secretary, Margaret, ushers them inside right a way. 

When they walk in they notice that Leo is sitting at his desk, his face buried in his hands. 

"Leo?" CJ asks tentatively. 

Josh is already sitting on the couch. 

"What's the deal?" Toby asks as CJ takes a seat beside Josh. 

"The President is in bad shape, guys. It was a pretty bad attack. And the biggest problem is that he's severely prone to having another one if he doesn't cut back on his stress." 

"He's already on a strict diet, and he has stress management therapy. What more can they do?" CJ asks, concerned. 

"Not too much. They brought in three of the top cardiologists in the country, a neurologist and a nun. Don't ask me what the nun said, but all the others said the same thing: That if he continues with his present lifestyle, he risks burning out and even dying." 

"What did they suggest?" Toby asks. 

Leo sighs. "Resigning his presidency." 

CJ gasps softly. "No, why?" 

"It's the only way he can fully be treated and take on a new lifestyle." Leo said, repeating the words of the doctor that had called him. 

"But there's gotta be something we can do." Josh suggests. "I mean, maybe if we tried to take some of the stress off him..." 

"There's not much more we can do. He's the Leader of the Free World, Josh. You don't just cut back or delegate." Toby states. 

"Anyway, there's no need to get too upset right now. The President hasn't even been told any of this yet. So the only thing we can do is say a little prayer, take a little oath and move on." Leo stands up. 

Josh stands up, too. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I serve at the pleasure of the President of the United States of America, and I'll be damned if I see him surrender his second term this way. What do you say?" 

Toby takes a deep breath. "I'd say I serve at the pleasure of the President." 

"CJ?" Josh looks down. 

"I serve at the pleasure of President Bartlet." 

"How about you, Leo?" Josh looks to Leo with a smile on his face. 

"I say may he stand by us and let God Bless America." 

"Alright. Then I think we know what we need to do." Josh says. 

"I think I'm going to be sick." CJ states suddenly, running out of the room. 

Everyone looks dumbstruck. 

"Well, Toby, what the hell are you waiting for? Go see if she's alright." Leo practically screams. 

"Me?" 

"Yeah, Toby, `cause you're her best friend. Now go on." Leo points to the door. 

"I don't even know what's making her so upset today." Toby states, almost guilty. 

"Toby, she just found out that we might not make it to the midterms, he might lose her job, and the only decent guy we've had in the White House for a while is about to be kicked out for something he has no control over. I don't know about you, but my stomach's not the sturdiest right now, either." Josh fidgets with his tie. 

"I'll, uh, go try to find her." Toby states and moves out of the office. 

He searches Leo and Josh's area and doesn't spot her. He makes his way back to his office and finally hers. 

"Carol," Toby calls from inside CJ's office. 

"Yes?" Carol appears at the doorway. 

"Have you seen CJ?" He asks impatiently. 

"I thought she was with you guys at Leo's office." Carol states simply. 

"She left. She wasn't feeling well. Do you think you can go see if she's in a restroom?" 

"Toby, do you know how many restrooms this place has?" 

"No, and I don't care to find out." Toby remarks dryly. 

Carol backs out of the room, timidly. "I'll go see if I can find CJ." She runs off to go search out her boss. 

* * *

Donna walks in to the Ladies Room and begins washing her hands casually. After a second, she hears someone vomiting in a near by stall. Her eyes widen in surprise. She hears it again, followed by someone mumbling, "Shit!" 

"CJ?" Donna whispered softly, not wanting to intrude on the other person's privacy if it wasn't indeed CJ. 

After a second, someone replied. "Yeah. Donna?" 

"Yes, are you alright?" She walks closer to the stall CJ was in. 

"Yeah." 

Donna can hear the toilet flush and after a moment, CJ opens the door. Her blouse is wrinkled and she looks terrible. 

"What happened? Are you sick?" Donna asks, carefully putting her hand on CJ's arm and leading her over to the sinks. She wets a piece of paper towel and gives it to CJ to wipe her face. 

"No, I'm just...not myself. Thanks, Donna." CJ sighs. 

"No problem. You should go lie down for a while." Donna suggests sympathetically. 

"I'll be fine. Actually, I think I'm going to go home soon. Oh, damn, I can't. I gotta go back with Toby." CJ whines. 

Donna is unaccustomed to seeing CJ in any state other than eager and ready to take on the world. It's odd to see the lead woman around here looking so upset. 

"Well, why don't you go find Toby and get him to take you back there?" 

"Donna, are you going to be here long?" CJ asks, hopeful. 

"No, probably not." Donna answers. 

"Well, if you hear anything new, can you let me know?" CJ asks. 

"Sure. But I think they're going to tell you everything before it gets to me." Donna laughs. "I hope you feel better." 

"Thanks. Hey, Donna, can this be our little secret?" CJ says tentatively. 

"It's safe with me." She smiles. "But what about all our other little secrets?" 

"They still stand." CJ winks. "See you tomorrow, probably. Bye." She walks out of the restroom. 

Immediately she spots Toby, wandering around like he was headless. 

"Tobias!" She calls, laughing. She was starting to feel better after seeing Donna. 

"CJ!" He calls back, rushing to her side. "Are you okay? The guys, they were worried when you just left." 

"The guys were worried?" CJ asks, sceptically. "Look, Toby, can we just get the kids and go home? I'm in dire need of a drink right now." 

"I don't think you should drink when you're not feeling well." Toby states as they walk back to his office. 

"Toby, it's been a long day. I think we're both entitled to a drink of some kind." 

Toby frowns as they enter his office. With any luck, she'd forget the whole thing and just come home and relax. 

* * *

PART 6 

Forward: Included in this piece are the lyrics to Imagine, sung and written by our beloved former Beatle, John Lennon. 

The drive home hadn't been good. Toby and CJ had surrendered to Secret Service protection in light of the day's events. CJ had been nauseous again, and the twins were tired and whining. 

Finally inside, Toby sighs and takes Huck from the Secret Service Agent who had been carrying him since CJ was having trouble walking herself. "Thanks, Bill." he says. "See you in the morning." 

The agent nods and shuts the door behind himself. 

"I'm just going to put these two to bed. You might wanna jump in the bath or something." Toby calls as he ascends the hall. 

A few minutes later he comes back into the kitchen to find CJ rummaging through the cupboards. 

"Pokey, where's your booze?" CJ asks, biting her lip in frustration. 

"I don't drink." Toby states with a smile. 

"You drink like a fish. Where's your booze?" She asks, unaffected by his joke. 

"CJ, why don't you go run yourself a bath and I'll start dinner? Come on." 

CJ gives up and slumps into one of the wooden kitchen chairs. "I need something to make me feel better, Toby." 

Toby joins her at the table as he pulls up another chair. "Well you don't need anything to drink. You just need to relax and get into a nice warm bath. You don't need alcohol." 

"I DO need alcohol, Toby. Because I'm an alcoholic." She states with out conviction, almost drunkenly. 

"Since when?" He challenges. 

"Since.. Now. I'm an alcoholic. I need alcohol when I'm anxious. And then I'll drink the booze, and that'll make me more anxious, which in turn will lead me to want more alcohol. See, I'm an alcoholic" CJ smiles drunkenly. 

"No, you've just defined an alcoholic. That doesn't make you one." Toby sighs impatiently. "Why don't you go take a bath and get into my pajamas?" 

"Why is it so important to you that I take a bath?" CJ enquires loudly as she stands up. 

Toby stands up, as well. "Because I think you need to relax and gain better control over your emotions right now. And a bath will help that. Now, go on, I'll start dinner." 

CJ sighs. Obviously he wasn't going to let her drink her way out of her estranged state, so she might as well surrender and take a bath. With any luck she'd fall asleep soon and not have to deal with any of 

the thoughts rummaging through her head. Like how much she wanted to jump Toby right now. 

* * *

"Hope you don't mind, I made eggs. Ya know, since we didn't get to eat them this morning." Toby sits beside CJ on the couch. She had had her bath and looked a little more relaxed now as she sat curled in the quilt. "I couldn't remember how you liked your eggs, so I scrambled them." He states as he hands her a plate with some eggs and toast. 

"Thanks, Toby. And I like them Sunny Side Up, just like me. And just how I like my men." CJ laughs and attempts the eggs. 

"Good to know." Toby remarked casually between bites. "What are we watching?" 

"Music videos. Toby, do you know they take perfectly good music and put it in film? Well, none of this is good, but that's besides the point. They destroy perfectly good music." 

Toby almost laughs. "If you want to listen to real music, go turn my record player on." 

"Why? What you got over there?" CJ looks towards the entertainment centre in front of them and tries to get a glimpse of the various records on a shelf. 

"Just go put it on and see." Toby says nonchalantly. 

CJ gets up, opens the glass door shielding the record player, and starts it. She returns to her seat when music begins to play. 

A little while later, CJ and Toby have finished dinner and are lying back enjoying some familiar oldies on the record player. Glen Miller, Frank Sinatra and the Beatles, among others, fill the room with sound. 

Eventually Toby turns to his side to see CJ lying back on the couch, falling asleep. 

"CJ." He whispers softly. 

"Shsh." CJ smiles with her eyes closed. "I love this song. Just listen." __

> _Imagine there's no heaven,_  
>  It's easy if you try,  
>  No hell below us,  
>  Above us only sky,  
>  Imagine all the people  
>  living for today...  
>  Imagine there's no countries,  
>  It isn't hard to do,  
>  Nothing to kill or die for,  
>  No religion too,  
>  Imagine all the people  
>  living life in peace...  
>  Imagine no possessions,  
>  I wonder if you can,  
>  No need for greed or hunger,  
>  A brotherhood of man,  
>  Imagine all the people  
>  Sharing all the world...  
>  You may say I'm a dreamer,  
>  but I'm not the only one,  
>  I hope some day you'll join us,  
>  And the world will live as one

By the end of the song, CJ is nearly in tears. 

Toby looks over to her. "You okay?" He asks tentatively. 

She nods softly. "Toby, we can't lose Jed Bartlet. He's the only politician I'd ever really believe in. He may not be perfect, but he sure as hell does his best. And he's so personable, and intelligent. Toby, he's the only male hero I've ever had." 

A smile spreads across Toby's face. "And here I thought I was your only hero." 

She gives him a pleading serious look. 

Toby reaches out to take CJ's hand. "We won't lose him, CJ. I think we've all done a good job running this country for the last five years. His service will not go forgotten." 

"But, but it's not fair that he has to be remembered for this. What about when Leo said our legacy was going to be raising the level of public debate? Now the only thing our grandchildren are going to know about Bartlet is that he was the sick guy. The guy with MS who couldn't handle stress, had a heart attack and resigned. He'll be 

remembered for giving up. Toby, we haven't made a big legacy." 

"Then what the hell have we been doing for five years? Come on, Ceej. Look back at the good things, not all the things we've failed to accomplish." 

CJ sighs. "I don't know how I'm going to do it, Toby, but I'm not going to let President Bartlet go down like this. What do you say, will you help me?" 

Toby smiles and leans back. "I serve at the pleasure of President Bartlet." 

CJ smiled, relieved. "Good. It isn't going to be easy, but we'll do something. Boy, this has been some kind of day, huh?" 

Toby nods. "Yeah. Some kind of crisis. But hey, it'll be alright. Are you feeling any better?" 

CJ shrugs. "I feel like I'm riding on an emotional roller coaster. One I haven't been on in years. Toby, I'm too old for this." She leans into the back of the couch and smiles. 

Toby smiles. "Maybe, but you sure don't look it." 

CJ opens her eyes. "Neither do you, there's not a grey hair on that partially bald head of yours." She winks. 

"Some men just have a naturally receding hairline." 

CJ sits up. "I think I better get to bed before I fall asleep here." Suddenly CJ feels lonely at the thought of leaving Toby and being all alone. 

"That's a good idea. Do you need anything before you go?" Toby asks, picking up their glasses and taking them into the kitchen. 

"Uh, yeah." CJ remembers something as she stands up. "The window behind your bed is open. It was fine last night, but tonight's supposed to be a little cooler." 

"Okay, yeah, I'll close it. It can sometimes get cold this time of year at night, huh?" 

"And you said I didn't need to wear long pants to bed in April." 

"Truth be told, I just didn't want you to know I didn't have any clean pants to give you." Toby joked, thinking to himself. Truth be told, I just wanted to see you in shorts with those long legs that end at your neck. "Uh, let's go fix that window." Toby states, composing himself as he tosses the glasses into the sink. 

They go into Toby's room and CJ crawls under the covers as Toby leans across the bed to shut the window. 

"There, all set." Toby declares as he sits on the end of the bed. 

"Thank you." CJ replies, almost nervously. "Toby, can you stay with me tonight?" She looks to the empty spot on the bed beside her to indicate what she wants. 

Toby's eyes follow her gaze. He softly sighs as he realizes what she's asking him to do. "CJ, I would, but I..." 

CJ cuts him off. "It's just, I really don't want to be alone tonight." 

Toby then cuts her off. "I just can't." He looks down at her desperately, wanting her to know that it was because he wanted her that he couldn't sleep next to her. "If there's anything else you need, I'm right out there. If you wanna talk or something, all you have to do is come to me. But please, don't ask me to do this. It's too hard." Because I've been in love with you for years and know I can't have you, he wants to scream. 

"Toby, please, we're best friends. I need you." CJ speaks sincerely. 

Toby leans over and places a gentle kiss to her forehead, hoping she'll understand that he really wanted to be there for her. "Good night, Claudia Jean." He whispers and slowly leaves her, trying his best not to turn around and see the small tears forming in CJ's eyes. 

* * *

A couple of hours later, CJ awakens from a horrible dream. In it were all the people she had loved and lost over the years, including her mother and dead almost-lover, Simon. As the dream had progressed, she found herself going through a sequence of events in which she was constantly losing the people she loved the most. She saw her brothers and niece burn to death in a house fire. Following that she saw all her co-workers-Leo, Josh, Will, Donna, Carol, Mrs. Bartlet, the President and even their daughters-being shot by a team of terrorists outside the White House. Her father then died of Alzheimers in his home, right in the middle of a fight with her. Next she saw President Bartlet give his resignation speech and hand over the presidency to an unqualified and immoral man who let democracy crumble at his feet in a matter of months. Lastly, she saw Toby move away from her, get 

back together with Andy and become a full-time father to Huck and Molly. Soon after that, Toby and the twins died in a car accident. Andy survived. 

CJ was sweating when she woke up. She was panting and drenched from head to toe. She was cold, but hot tears streamed her face. Her throat was sore and dry, like she had been screaming, and it took all she had inside not to vomit. 

She was cold and shaking when she finally decided to step out of bed. She slowly walked down the hall and into the living room, wondering how Toby would react when he saw her. She didn't care at this point. Last night she had been upset that her best friend wouldn't stay and comfort her. She was pissed that he acted so insensitive and tried topretend he wasn't. But right now, all she wanted was his arms around her. 

When she reached the couch, she knelt on the floor beside the couch and began uncharacteristically to sob, her face buried in her hands. 

Toby awoke to hear someone sobbing beside him. He knew immediately that it was CJ. He opened his eyes quickly. "CJ?" He asked, sitting up and leaning forward. 

She only began to cry harder. 

"Shsh, it's okay. What's wrong?" Toby asks, removing her hands from her face and gently pulling her onto the couch beside him. 

CJ could barely speak. How could she tell him all she need was to lie there and sob into his chest? "I..I.." Thinking that it'd be too difficult and embarrassing to relay her dream to him, she searched for better words. "Toby... I, I lose everyone I ever let myself get close to. I can't stand it. I lost Simon just when I was about to really let myself love him." She scrunches her face up in anger. "He died because I got too close. I can never get close. And one day I'm gonna lose all my family, too. Just like I'm losing the President now." She threw herself into Toby's chest and began to sob uncontrollably. 

Suddenly it was clear to Toby. She had been upset all day not just because she thought of Jed Bartlet as a second father, but because she was regretful of ever letting herself get close to him and everyone else. He wraps his arms around her and gives her a minute to calm down before he speaks. When she doesn't cease, he begins to hum 

the melody of "Hush Little Baby." After a minute he stops and decides it's time to say something. "CJ, it's okay." He decides to use the President's nick name to add a personal touch. "Jed is going to be fine. We don't even know if he has to resign, yet. So please, don't get upset over that. And you don't have to worry about losing 

everyone you ever care for, because God would never let that happen. I know you've had some really bad experiences in the past, but please believe me when I say something good has got to come of the future." 

CJ finally looks up at Toby. "I'm not too sure, Toby." She remembers how he had pushed her away last night. How he wouldn't let himself hold her. It was probably best if she just stopped caring about Toby. But how could she when she wasn't even strong enough to pull away from him now? 

"Don't worry." He whispers softly. "You've just got to have a little faith. Trust me." 

CJ bows her head and leans back into Toby. "Toby, please don't leave me tonight." 

"I wouldn't dare." Toby breathes, entwining his fingers with CJ's. "But I think we'd be more comfortable in the bedroom." He stands up, taking CJ with him. Tonight he would be honourable. He wouldn't let 

his best friend suffer because he was afraid that if he slept beside her he'd get turned on. Whatever happened, he would be there for her tonight. 

He effortlessly leads CJ back to his bedroom, collecting himself. 

CJ is hesitant at first, but as soon as Toby lies down and draws her into his arms, she knows she made the right decision. "Toby," She breathes as they settle into a comfortable position, holding and facing each other at their sides. 

"Yes," Toby sighs as breathes in the scent of CJ's still damp hair that is splayed across his chest. 

"Don't leave me, please." She nearly begs. 

"Not a chance. I promise you've always got me." Toby responds softly. After waiting over twenty years, he finally had the woman he wanted in his arms. He didn't care if he couldn't kiss her and tell her how much he secretly loved her, he was just glad to be holding her. It was like a giant release. 

"Don't promise. Because you just never know. Something could happen to you and I'd be lost." 

"CJ, I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon." Toby says reassuringly, thinking that he didn't deserve her. Despite that, he hoped and prayed that this was the beginning of the next step in their relationship. 

"Good, because I don't know how I can get through this without you. Just promise me you’ll be here when I wake up." She yawns and completely gives into all of her senses. The teasing scent of Toby's cologne, the feel of his chest beneath her cheek, the sound of his steady heart beating. This is what she deserved. What she had wanted 

for so long. Before long, she finds herself dozing off in a deep, peaceful sleep. 

* * *

A few hours later, CJ comfortably drifts back into consciousness .She immediately remembers where she is and the manner in which she fell asleep earlier. A smile spreads across her face as she reaches to her side to find Toby. Just as quickly, her smile fades as she opens her eyes to see nothing but a ruffled sheet where Toby had been lying. 

"Toby, " She calls softly, not wanting to wake the children in the next room. Suddenly she wonders if he had went back to the couch to sleep. Perhaps she had made him uncomfortable when she asked him to stay with her. I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't fair of me to ask him to do that. I know he has a bit of a crush on me and maybe I was being a tease, she thinks to herself. How could I do that to my best friend. I have to find a way to thank him. 

She lies back down, realizing that Toby probably wasn't going to return, just as Toby enters the room. 

"Hey," He smiles. There was not a trace of awkwardness or regret on his face. "I'm sorry I left. Huck was hungry, so I fed him." He crawls back onto the bed. 

"It's okay. You just said you'd be there when I woke up, and I held you to it." CJ wraps her arms around Toby protectively as he crawls under the covers with her. 

"I'm sorry. Are you feeling any better now?" He asks, thinking that it was way too ironic that it felt this good to wake up with her. What had been holding him back from telling her how he felt all these 

years?... The same thing that was holding him back from verbalizing his love now: He didn't want to hurt her. 

"Yeah, much." She says lazily. 

"Then I should probably go back to the couch and let you get some decent sleep." Toby suggests without conviction. 

CJ turns to face him. "No. If you want me to get some sleep, it's best if you stay. Please?" 

Toby smiles coyly. "Alright, if you insist." 

So they curl up in each other and spend the night dreaming of what it would be like to be able to say the things they've longed to say to each other for years. 

PART 7 

The morning began wonderfully for Toby and CJ. 

CJ awoke feeling rested and content, not something she was accustom to. Waking up like this caused her to open her eyes to see what was so different than any other morning. And there it was: Toby's face curled into her long neck and his arms wrapped protectively around her small waist. She had to sigh. What would she ever do without him? Nothing had felt this good before, and she didn't want it to end. But a part of her knew that within the next hour and a half, both Toby and herself would be walking into the White House, separating, and pretending they were still the same two people. She had to do something to tell Toby how she felt right now, and that after waiting 

for this for as long as she could imagine, she didn't want to lose it. 

Just as her thoughts were wandering, Toby shifted in his sleep as he slowly woke up. He reached out blindly to pull CJ closer to him. Then it dawned on him that they weren't together. That last night was merely him helping her out. That she had no romantic interest in him at all. So he removed himself from her hold and began to sit up. 

"What's wrong?" CJ asks, reaching for Toby's hand. She didn't want him to leave yet. 

"Uh, we gotta...gotta get ready for work." Typical of him to find the logical answer to why he couldn't sit and enjoy his time with the woman he loved. He knew once they got back into the office, she'd 

become the incredible media mogul that he couldn't have. They'd go back to the regular work banter that they shared with all the other co-workers. It was best if he tried to forget how she could make him feel. 

"We've got some time." CJ shrugged. They weren't exactly supposed to be in the office today, but both of them wanted to see the President as soon as they could. "Hey, I never thanked you for last night." She sits up in bed. 

Toby shrugs a shoulder. "You don't need to. I was glad to help." 

CJ smiles coyly. "Oh, but I think I should still do something nice for you. How's this...?" CJ leans over and gently touches Toby's cheek. When he doesn't move, she moves closer and begins to meld their lips 

together in a soft, gentle kiss. Sensing Toby's surprise, CJ backs off and smiles. "What? Do I have morning breath?" 

"No," Toby stated calmly as he played with the sheet in his hand. 

CJ tilted her head. "Why, Tobias, I believe I've made you blush." CJ laughs, then turns serious. "Seriously, Toby, it was just a kiss. We've shared many before." But they never ended the way I wanted them to.... 

"Not like that." Toby said, still staring at the blanket. 

"Toby, what the hell? Are you alright?" CJ grows angry and concerned. He was acting like a heartbroken teenager. 

"No, CJ, I'm not alright. I can't stand this. I don't want to just walk away from you, but damn it, CJ, I'm not your toy." Toby was frustrated. Nothing made him happier than sleeping beside CJ last night. But this was the problem in their relationship, whenever something good would happen, they'd both want more but were too scared to make any commitment to getting it. 

CJ simply stared. "Toby, I'm sorry... I never meant..." 

Toby sighed dramatically. "That's the problem, CJ. God, you're so smart, but sometimes you just don't think. Then there's times you think too much. You say you need someone but don't have the guts to be anything to them once you're done needing them." 

CJ's eyes widened in shock and anger. Her face began to redden. "Well thank you, Dr. Froid, for identifying all my life problems. Ya know what, I'm just going to get out of here and leave you to your miserable routine. Goodbye." She stands up and storms out of the room. 

God, did he really just tell her she was dumb and didn't trust anyone? "Wait, CJ!" Toby called after her, rushing to the living room. 

She grabs the handle on the front door, fully prepared to leave. 

Toby stops, out of breath and worried. "You can't go running away all the time. We need to..we need to..." Toby grasped for the words. 

"What, is the speechwriter speechless? I'm leaving, and contrary to what you think, I'm not running away. And don't worry about your precious , damn Yankees shirt. I'll get it back to you later." With that, she stomps outside and slams the door behind her. 

* * *

After returning home and getting ready, CJ arrives at work frustrated and tired already. She ignores the message Carol gives her saying that Toby called and wanted her to meet him in his office before Staff. 

CJ simply growls. She wasn't ready to face Toby yet... Probably because he was right about her. She shouldn't have led him on the way she did. It was all or nothing. God, she wanted it to be all, but she just wasn't ready yet. She knew she had to find a way to patch things up with Toby, and more importantly, find a way to tell him that she 

had every intention of following through with the leads she gave him. 

When they both arrived at Leo's office at the same time, CJ didn't even look at Toby at first. 

Toby was first to speak. "CJ, I'm sorry about before. I think we need to talk." Toby was trying to be as sensitive as he could. He had had no business saying what he did to CJ, and knew that he had only said it because he was too chicken himself to make a binding commitment to her. 

CJ rolled her eyes. "We're at work now, Toby. We have stuff to do. We can talk about this later." 

Margaret looks up from her desk, obviously interested in the conversation. 

When Toby and CJ look at her like she's intruding, Margaret simply smiles. "You can go in now." 

CJ sighs and drops her shoulders. "Thank you." She walks in first, pretending Toby isn't right behind her. 

Josh and Will are standing around casually, obviously waiting for them to arrive. 

"Good morning." Leo looks at CJ and Toby expectantly, wondering why they weren't talking. 

"Morning, Leo." Toby states sarcastically. 

"Well, now that we've all exchanged pleasantries..." Will laughs nervously. 

Leo clears his throat. "The doctors have okayed us to see the President this morning. After we're done here, we can go to GW and see him. The media is handling the issue with little problems, which is good. CJ, you'll give the 11 o'clock briefing, but nothing about resignation." He looks up to see CJ confirm with a nod. He then continues. "The President has been informed by his doctors of the prognosis and treatment suggestions. I anticipate he'll have a talk with us about his decision within the next couple of days. If there's nothing that needs to be addressed, can we go to GW now?" He looks around the room. Everyone shrugs to indicate that they had nothing more to say. "Okay, let's go." Leo grabs his jacket from behind his chair and everyone begins to file out. 

"Hey, You feelin' any better?" Josh asks CJ as he matches her stride. 

CJ smiles innocently. "What do you mean? Did Donna tell you?" 

Josh takes on that confused look. "What, no. But what are you talking about?" 

"Nothing." CJ lies as they continue to make their way outside. 

"What happened? What about you and Donna? Does Donna know something I don't know?" 

"Josh, we could write a book on what you don't know Donna knows." This was actually amusing CJ. 

Josh sighs. 

"You two wanna join the group?" Leo turns around and asks as CJ and Josh fell more and more behind as their conversation had continued. 

CJ and Josh speed up. 

* * *

"The President is ready to see you now. Please go in one at a time." A young-looking attractive nurse addresses the staff who are waiting in the Waiting Room at George Washington Hospital. 

They all look around at each other, wondering who should be first. Finally, Leo pipes up, "CJ, why don't you go first?" 

CJ looks around. "Why me?" 

"Because ladies always go first." Leo smiled sincerely. 

"With all do respect, CJ isn't a lady." Josh almost laughs. 

You wanna bet, Toby thinks to himself. 

"If you're thinking I've had a sex change, Josh, I can take you into the Ladies room and prove it to you right now that I haven't.." It was hard, but CJ remained serious. It was okay to joke around with Josh. 

"Hey!" Toby yells, then reminds himself that it wasn't his place to defend CJ, especially when she was handling it well on her on. 

"Would you just go in?" Leo directs in frustration. 

"Gladly." CJ stands up. "I'll be back soon." 

"You had to make that comment, didn't you, Josh?" Toby asks, still upset. 

"Would you two drop it? You try to surround yourself with the best political and legal minds in the country, and instead I get you guys." Leo almost cracks a smile. Sometimes he didn't mind playing "babysitter" to the younger guys. 

"I'm just saying that you know full well that CJ is a lady and you shouldn't be making comments about something so sensitive as that. CJ's very vulnerable right now." Toby looks at his hands. 

"You should know since she spent the last two nights at your place." Josh says under his breath, then looks away. 

"Josh!" Toby glares. 

"Relax, Toby. Josh was concerned when I told him what you said about CJ being over at your house yesterday morning. It's no big deal." Leo was sensing some real tension between the two senior staffers and he wanted it to stop. 

"Well the way he said it was like I was sleeping with her or something." Toby raised his voice. 

"Well, are you?" Josh baited. 

"No!" Toby screams. Well, not in the literal sense, he thinks to himself as he calms down. "She's my friend, and my colleague. I'd never...do that." Toby knew what he said wasn't true. Thank God they didn't know what had went on last night. 

* * *

"Good morning, Mr. President, how are you feeling?" CJ ask cordially as she enters the President's hospital room. She had braced herself for breathing tubes and one-sided conversations, but she was pleasantly surprised to see him sitting up in bed and smiling at her. 

The President beams. "My, my, Ms. Claudia Jean. You get taller every time I see you... which was just yesterday." 

CJ smiles. "Please don't joke about that, sir." Then she realizes that he's sitting in bed, recovering from a heart attack, he could joke about whatever he wanted to. 

He continues to smile. "Well aren't you going to give an old guy a hug?" 

"I would ,sir, but there's about ten armed guards outside of here and they might shoot me if I approached you too quickly." CJ makes her way over to his bedside. 

"It's okay. They know who you are." The President winks. "Have you seen Abbey?" 

"No, sir." 

"Good." 

"But I'm sure Mrs. Bartlet would tell you to rest up." 

"CJ, this is a courtesy call, right? Let's drop the `sir' and `Mr. President', we're not at the office." He smiles. 

She smiles. "It's hard to change overnight." She admits. 

"I heard you were concerned about me." It was more a question. 

"Where did you hear that from?" CJ asks, slightly alarmed. 

"Leo." Jed states simply. 

"Well, I'm certainly not the only one. I heard the girls were very upset." 

Jed smiles and laughs his familiar New England laugh. "Oh, they're pussycats, all of them." 

CJ takes a deep breath. "Sir, are the doctors suggesting giving up the presidency?" 

Jed's smile fades. "They're all Republicans, CJ. Don't listen to them. They just want me out of office." 

"Mr. President, I'm sure they have your best interest in mind. I just wanted to know what you were going to do." 

"And you'll be the third person to know when I make a decision." It was obvious he didn't want to talk about it. 

"Third, sir?" CJ enquires, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yes, you'll know after my wife and Leo." Jed nods his head. 

"Of course." CJ agrees. 

Jed sighs and leans back against his pillow. "CJ, I don't have a final decision to give you yet." 

"That's understandable, sir. This is very difficult for you." CJ nods. 

"This is very difficult for all of us. This isn't going to be an easy battle, CJ, and no decision will be made lightly. But, I promise if I'm going to give up, it'll be on my own terms. I'm going to need all of your help on this one." 

CJ clears her throat. "And as always, I serve at your pleasure. And I'm sure I can speak on behalf of all the staff in saying that you have our full, loyal support." 

Jed smiles. "And as always, CJ, you are an eloquent orator. Now, I don't want to complain, but I'm supposed to be resting and there's about four or five of my advisors out there who probably want to see for themselves that I'm still breathing. So, if there's nothing else you need..." 

CJ gives a nod. "Of course, sir. I'll leave you alone. Enjoy your rest." 

Jed reaches out to take CJ's hand. "Thank you for being here. I promise you that I'm going to do my best not to let you, or anyone else I care about, down." 

"Mr. President, there is nothing you could possibly that would make us think any less of you." 

Jed smiles warmly. "Awe, CJ, you give me too much credit. Now, go away." He smiles again. 

"Thank you, Mr. President. Rest up and we'll see you soon." 

"Thank you, CJ." The President winks as CJ closes the door behind her. 

* * *

"Toby, come on in. Take a seat." Jed smiles welcomingly as Toby steps into the hospital room. 

"Good morning, sir. How are you feeling?" Toby asks sincerely. 

"Much better now that I've seen most of my staff. How are the babies?" 

Toby pulls up a chair beside the bed. "Wonderful. Andy picked them up this morning." 

"Did you and CJ have a good time watching them this weekend? I feel bad about ruining everybody's weekend off." 

"Don't worry about it, sir. And, uh, how'd you know CJ was helping me look after my kids?" 

"Toby, I know everything that goes on the in the West Wing, regardless of whether or not I'm in the Oval Office. Besides, Leo told me." 

"Fair enough, sir." 

Jed pauses a moment. "It was nice of CJ to help you out." 

"Yes, it was." Toby says simply. 

"Have you thought of a way to thank her yet?" 

"Excuse me." Toby clears his throat. 

"Thank her, for helping you out?" 

"I have expressed my gratitude, sir." It is obvious Toby is uncomfortable. 

"Good. Toby, she didn't help you out just because she loves children, it was probably because she cares about you." 

"As I care about her, too." Toby says as nonchalantly as he could. 

Jed clears his throat. For a man recovering from a heart attack, he looked remarkably calm and well. "Have you ever told her that, Toby?" 

"I beg your pardon, sir?" Toby asks calmly. 

"Have you told CJ how much you care about her?" Jed repeats. 

Toby clears his throat, uncomfortably. "There have been occasions when... That is to say I... No, not exactly. But she knows that I'm her friend and that I will help her in any way I can." 

"That's not good enough." Jed states with finality. 

"Pardon me?" 

"I said that's not good enough. Toby, neither of you are getting any younger and the two of you obviously have feelings for one another beyond friendship, so why don't you make a move?" 

Toby almost smiles. "You're asking me, sir, your Communications Director, to make a move on your Press Secretary whom you regard as one of your own daughters?" 

"Well, it's about time, isn't it? Toby, you're the man, do something. Just don't push her. But never be afraid to tell CJ how you feel about her. Her reaction may pleasantly surprise you." 

"Sir, with all due respect, it's not that simple. Things are complicated. And if she doesn't react the way I would want her to react under the circumstances, more than my pride would be hurt." 

"But, if you don't do something it'll pass over and you'll never get a chance to experience the `what if'. And, you'll regret that, Toby. Love is a lot like what we do in the office every day. If you don't go after what you believe in-what you want- you'll never get that good feeling, and you'll never be satisfied." 

Toby sighs. "Sir, I appreciate you...giving me relationship advice, but I'm not sure if now's the right time to..." Toby is starting to get annoyed with this conversation. 

Jed cuts him off with a knowing look. "Excuse, excuses, Toby. Life is too short and you have to cease the day while you can. You know, gather ye rosebuds." 

"Mr. President, with all due respect, can we leave CJ's rosebuds out of this?" Toby says in all seriousness. 

Jed bursts out laughing and has to clutch his chest to contain his laughter. 

Toby stands up in surprise. "Mr. President, are you alright?" He asks calmly. 

Jed calms down. "What's the matter, Toby, never seen an old man laugh? I was simply saying that you should cease the opportunity while you've still got it." 

Toby continues to stand, that bit of anger rising. "We had a fight, damnit, I can't tell her I love her now!" Toby shouts spontaneously. He pinches the flesh of skin on the bridge of his nose. He collects himself. "I'm, I'm sorry. It's just, she won't believe me. And she shouldn't..." 

Jed clear his throat. "You know, you're the only one that hasn't mentioned me having to resign." It was obvious that Jed knew he had stepped on a nerve, and he didn't want to pester Toby. 

Toby sighs. "Well, I didn't feel it was appropriate." 

Jed leans back. "Fix the fight. Apologize for whatever you did, and mean it, then move on. Tell her how you feel, mean it, and hope for the best. And Toby, don't feel inadequate. As men, we are blessed with all these amazing women in our lives, and it's okay to enjoy that. CJ will tell you you have nothing to feel insecure about." 

Toby rolls his eyes. "That's all you got?" 

"Toby, I'm President of the United States of America, I'm certainly no relationship therapist. But one thing I can tell you, you're wasting valuable time. Don't put it off. Love is hard to find and often only comes once in a lifetime, that's all I can say." 

"Okay... I'll let you go now, sir. Is there anything you need before I go?" 

"No, but thank you, Toby. Now, go. Remember, gather ye rosebuds." Jed winks. 

"Thank you, Mr. President. Have a good day." 

As Toby closes the door, the President's words of advice echoes in his ears. Fix the fight. Apologize for whatever you did, and mean it, then move on. Tell her how you feel, mean it, and hope for the best.... 

If it were only that simple, Toby thinks. 

PART 8 

Okay, I hate the pop thing, but I had to include the lyrics to N'Sync's This I Promise You. It was on the radio last night and I felt it was appropriate. 

CJ was lying back on her living room couch, leafing through some work files, when she hears a knock on the door. It was getting late which caused her to feel suspicious. She hated her apartment. It always gave her the chills. One day soon she was going to move. It was just finding the time. 

She quickly got up and looked through the peephole, pleasantly surprised to see Toby standing outside nonchalantly. She almost smiles as she opens the door. 

"Hey, what's up?" She asks, facing Toby. 

Toby shrugs. "You forgot your bag at my place. I didn't notice until I got home and I figured there might be something in it that you couldn't live without. Or, something like that." He holds up her suitcase. 

CJ smiles. "Thanks, Toby. You didn't have to bring it over tonight. You, uh, wanna come in?" She glances back inside. She wasn't quite as neat as Toby, but she supposed her apartment was clean enough for him. Time didn't always permit her to tidy up, and there was simply no decent housecleaning service in the area. 

"No, I better get going." Toby looks toward the end of the hallway. It was awkward for him. Sure, he had spent enough time here, but he got the sense that their pervious fight hadn't just dematerialized while he was avoiding her. But, seeing her suitcase on his bedroom floor told him he had to talk to her some time, if not for the sake 

of acting like a mature adult. 

"No, come on in. Have a drink. I guess I kind of owe you one." CJ steps back into the living room, persuading Toby to follow her lead. 

"You don't owe me anything." Toby said seriously. 

CJ's apartment was much like Toby's in the sense that the living room and kitchen sort of flowed into one another, and the hallway was at the back of the room. It was a little classier with expensive artwork along the wall and some autographs of famous musicians and actors she met while in California. 

CJ takes a seat on the couch. "I was going to put some tea on, you want that instead?" 

Toby supposed it was time for him to apologize, anyway. "Yeah, sure. Thanks." 

CJ walks in to the kitchen and starts to fill the kettle. "Toby," She raises her voice only loud enough for him to barely here her. "I'm sorry about this morning... if it made you uncomfortable. The last thing I wanted to do was tease you, and it was completely out of line." 

"No, don't apologize. I wasn't...uncomfortable. I just didn't understand your intentions, if there were any. And I should be the one apologizing." 

CJ walks back into the room and takes a seat beside Toby on the couch. 

Toby continues as he removes his suit jacket. "What I said was completely untrue and very much out of line. You know I didn't mean anything I said, right?" 

"Then what made you say it?" CJ asks. 

Okay, time for some honesty, Toby preps himself. "I was saying it to take some of the heat off me. It isn't you that can't make a commitment, it's me. It's not that I don't want to, I just don't want to ruin anything between us. Not.. Not that there's anything between us. I mean, there's..." Toby sighs. Now that it was out, he was even more nervous. 

CJ merely smiles. "Toby, after twenty years of friendship, there better damn well be something between us. And you don't have to worry about ruining anything. Just be yourself. That's who I like. And, I know I sometimes flirt to get my way, but my intentions with you are always true. So, there's no reason to be nervous." 

Toby nods as CJ reaches out to take his hand. "CJ..." He practically begs. 

She leans in and smiles. "Shsh..." This time she starts out slow but quickly picks the pace of their kiss up. Just as Toby is about to really relax and enjoy their splendid kiss, the kettle starts to whistle in the kitchen. 

CJ groans as she pulls away. "Wanna skip the tea?" She asks, going into the kitchen. 

"And do what?" Toby raises his voice a little so she could hear him. 

CJ looks back and gives Toby a coy smile. "I can think of a lot of things I'd like to do with you right now." 

Toby's eyes widen as CJ turns off the stove. 

She smiles as she walks over to him and stands in front of him. "I'm sorry, I'm extremely blunt. Coy is a bad colour on me. Come on." She takes his hands and lifts him up off the couch. 

"Wha, where are we going?" Toby asks as she leads him toward the small hallway at the back of the room. 

"Oh, I forgot, you've never actually been in my bedroom before, have you?" 

Toby's voice raises an octave. "CJ!" 

CJ backs them into her bedroom, smiling. "Don't worry, Toby, after twenty years of this cat and mouse, I'm not going to jump into bed with you right away." 

"Then what the hell is going on?" 

CJ sits down on the end of her bed, dropping Toby's hands. She slowly crosses her arms over her chest and slips the cotton button down over her head. 

Toby's eyes pop. "CJ, I thought you said..." 

CJ laughs softly. "Toby, if you think you can just lie in bed with me and hold me, I'd really like to do this." 

Toby sighs. "I'm just so very confused." He watches as CJ throws her slacks on the floor. 

CJ reaches up and takes Toby's hands again, gently pulling him onto the bed. "Toby, I've wanted this for a long time. Let's just sit and talk and kiss and explore what we've both wanted to for so long now." CJ was being as open and honest as she could be. She wasn't ready for much of a verbal revelation yet, but she knew if Toby would let her be close to him, she could assure him that she was "in". 

"CJ, I don't know..." Toby says, rubbing her arms in his hands. 

She smiles warmly. "All you have to do is hold me, Pokey. I think this is the beginning of something new for us. I want you to know that you don't have to do anything more. I'm in, I'm yours. Just, don't break my heart, okay?" 

Now it's Toby turn to smile. He gently touches her bare skin and pulls her into his side as they both lay back to lie on their sides. "I promise, that won't be a problem. I know of a lot of people who will be keeping an eye on me if word of this ever gets out." 

CJ reaches up to begin unbuttoning Toby's dress shirt. "We're going to tell people?" 

Toby leans back and enjoys something he could have only dreamed of. "Well, secrecy doesn't usually work in our line of work. I think we should be honest and tell our colleagues that we're... romantically interested in each other." 

CJ stops sliding her fingers along her chest to think for a second. "Is that what you would call us? Romantically interested?" 

Toby looks down at her and rubs her bare shoulder, then sits up to take off his pants. "I don't know. What would you call us?" 

"See, now that's not fair. I asked you first." 

Toby groans. What exactly were they? Well, to him she was his best friend and the women he had secretly wanted for so many years. The women he loved and cherished and wanted to give the world to, yet didn't even have the guts to barely touch her. Not that he didn't want to. It's just, here she was in front of him, completely 

surrendering herself to him, his CJ. That strong woman who stood up against men every day of her life and played what would be considered a man's game of political hard ball. She was someone who rarely expressed her real emotions and never wore her heart on her sleeve. And yet, here she was. He didn't need to feel like he was taking 

advantage of her, because he knew she really trusted him or she wouldn't be lying here in his arms in just a bra and underwear. He sighs. "But technically I was the one who brought it up." 

"Toby..." CJ warns softly. 

"Okay, you wanna know what I think? I think I should listen to the President and gather my rosebuds." 

"Excuse me?" CJ laughs softly. 

"Never mind. The point is that you are an amazing woman and you're my best friend ,and if you'll permit me, I'd like to have a serious relationship with you outside of casual flirtation." He brings his hands up to cup her face. 

"Awe, and here I was thinking I could flirt with you." She smiles. "Thank you, Toby. That's just what I wanted to hear. But, I'm sick of talking." She takes her hands which were resting on his forearms as he held her face, and moved them down his shoulder and to his back as they once again began a careful exploration of each other's mouths. 

After they eventually break off, CJ leans back flat against the bed and sighs. "This feels right, doesn't it?" 

Toby gathers CJ into his arms, allowing her to rest her head in the crook of his neck. "Yes, very right." He simply lies there, thinking about all the time they had wasted. 

> _When the visions around you,_  
>  Bring tears to your eyes  
> And all that surround you,  
> Are secrets and lies  
> I'll be your strength,  
> I'll give you hope,  
> Keeping your faith when it's gone  
> The one you should call,  
> Was standing here all along..  
> And I will take  
> You in my arms  
> And hold you right where you belong  
> Till the day my life is through  
> This I promise you  
> This I promise you  
> I've loved you forever,  
> In lifetimes before  
> And I promise you never...  
> Will you hurt anymore  
> I give you my word  
> I give you my heart (give you my heart)  
> This is a battle we've won  
> And with this vow,  
> Forever has now begun...  
> Just close your eyes (close your eyes)  
> Each loving day (each loving day)  
> I know this feeling won't go away (no..)  
> Till the day my life is through  
> This I promise you..  
> This I promise you..  
> Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)  
> When I hear you call  
> Without you in my life baby  
> I just wouldn't be living at all...  
> And I will take (I will take you in my arms)  
> You in my arms  
> And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)  
> Till the day my life is through  
> This I promise you baby  
> Just close your eyes  
> Each loving day (each loving day)  
> I know this feeling won't go away (no..)  
> Every word I say is true  
> This I promise you  
> Every word I say is true  
> This I promise you  
> Ooh, I promise you...

Toby clears his throat. "CJ, you're not going to regret this, are you?" The former insecurities the President told him to drop were surfacing. 

CJ almost smiles. "Toby, I've wanted this for a very long time. Don't you dare think about running away now." 

Toby tilts his head to look at her. "I could never even think about leaving you. I just wanted to be sure you were okay with us. I know I don't usually say stuff like this, but I can't remember a time when I was happier than this. I keep noticing all of the small things." 

This time CJ did smile. "Like what kind of small things?" 

Toby guides CJ to lie on top of him. "Like how soft you are, and how good you smell." 

CJ laughs heartily. "Oh, Toby, no man has ever been that blunt with me." 

Toby grimaces. "Let's not talk about other guys." 

CJ watches Toby's face. "Toby, I'm 43, there have obviously been other men in my life." 

"I know, but let's not talk about that." 

CJ drags her fingers along Toby's bare chest. "Okay, then let's talk about some of the other women in your life. Andy was wonderful..." 

"CJ..." Toby groans. "What happened a year and half ago was just... crazy. The only good that came of it was Huck and Molly. And as for our marriage...it, it never felt like this. Andy is...not you." Toby hated talking about this to CJ. Sure he had loved Andy and he still cared about her, but she was always his second choice. He had always felt like he wasn't giving his all to her, and that he had taken advantage of her. 

CJ contradicts. "Andy is younger, more gorgeous, brilliant and a great mother." 

Toby sighs. "I'll give you younger, but solely based on your dates of birth and nothing else. As for everything else... You are absolutely gorgeous, brilliant as well as charismatic, and I think you'd make a terrific mother." 

"Really?" CJ asks, sinking back into Toby. 

"Absolutely." 

"Then I'm glad I'm with a communications guy, because you can certainly sway a girl with your words, Toby. Please, don't stop." She closes her eyes. 

"Well, there are a lot of things I've wanted to say to you for quite a long time, now. But, I think we should get some sleep." Toby just didn't want to push anything. 

CJ opens her eyes again. "Ya know, this isn't awkward at all. I thought it might be, but it isn't. I can see you as the 

Communications Director when we're at work, and I can see you as...you, when you're lying here beside me. And, I honestly don't think I'm going to have trouble bridging the two." 

"I think I'll have trouble separating the work-you from the you I see now. I just hope I don't suddenly walk up to you in the Press Briefing Room and grab you and kiss you or something" Toby smiles jokingly. Deep down, though, he was serious. How was he going to go to work tomorrow and pretend she was just his colleague? 

CJ sighs, once again curling into Toby. "Don't worry about that. In all honesty, if you did do that, it'd make work a lot more exciting." 

"In our line of work, excitement isn't always a good thing." Toby states. "Honestly, CJ, are we just going to go in there tomorrow and pretend...nothing happened?" 

CJ sighs again. "Toby, I never want to pretend I don't care about you. But, for the mean time, let's just keep this strictly to ourselves. There could be problems if something got out, and the President doesn't need this right now. With the heart attack and everything, the last thing we need is rumours about us going around. We don't have to ignore each other, but we have to keep our personal lives separate from our work lives." 

"Okay." Toby agrees, reluctantly. 

After a minute of silence, CJ resumes conversation. "Are you comfortable?" 

"Yes, very, how about you?" Toby tilts CJ's head so he could look at her. 

"Definitely. I don't know why, but I feel so much safer with you here." 

"Safer? Why, do you not normally feel safe here?" Toby grows concerned. 

CJ pauses a second. "It's not that I don't feel safe, it's just, this place isn't as nice as it was when I first moved in. There's been a lot of crimes committed around here, and it's starting to lose some of the class it had before. I don't know, sometimes I wake up and wonder if someone's right outside my window or something." 

"That doesn't sound good, CJ. I think you should consider moving." Toby suggested, pulling her back down into his arms in a comforting gesture. 

"I have considered it. I'm not sure, yet. But I really do feel better knowing you're here." 

"Well, I'm glad. I'll do anything I can. I don't want you to feel unsafe in your own home. What about Secret Service protection?" 

"Totally out of the question. I hate it. Makes me feel like I'm being babysat. Let's just drop this, okay?" 

"Yeah. But if you ever come home and don't feel good about staying here, you can always stop by my place. I'll never lock the door to you." 

"Okay. I may have to take you up on that, Toby. For now, can you just hold me like this all night?" 

"Most definitely." Toby nods, wrapping his arms even more securelyaround her and getting a sense of peace that was becoming all too familiar to him. The hell with it, he could hold her forever. Now, if only he could find the words to make all this final... 

PART 9 

Note: Mel helped make me aware that some of my suggestions as to what the President can do may in fact be legally wrong. Please excuse this. I don't actually know what a President in this care would do, so these are just my assumptions. In addition, Will is no longer Deputy Communications Director, he is Chief-Of-Staff to the VP. One 

more thing, this is the final chapter. 

Another morning had started wonderfully for Toby and CJ. They awoke entwined in each other's arms and Toby cooked breakfast as CJ showered. After breakfast Toby had returned to his place to shower and dress. But, they didn't leave CJ's apartment until they absolutely had to. Both of them had left with a positive feeling and confidence that they could handle the day ahead. 

* * *

"Okay, so Toby's party is going to be on the 29th?" Josh asks, stepping out of his office and into the hallway where he met Donna. 

"Say it a little louder Josh, there's a guy working the Concession who didn't hear you." Donna states sarcastically as she proceeds to walk away from Josh. 

Josh sighs. "I was just clarifying. Remember how we talked about you being nicer to me?" 

"How quickly I can forget things." Donna says, stopping. "Josh, go to Staff." 

Josh rests his elbow against the wall. "But, I want to talk about Toby's surprise party." 

Donna raises an eyebrow. "You've got work to do, Josh. You know where to find me if you need me." Donna starts to head back to her "office". "Oh, by the way, you've got the ex-VP, John Hoynes, in an hour." 

Josh groans loudly. "And let me guess, we're jogging, aren't we?" 

Donna calls back, "No, swimming." 

* * *

"Okay, I guess that about raps it up. The President wants to see all of us in the Residence now. So, let's go." Leo removes his glasses and then joins the group filing out of his office. 

No one was saying much, which was very unusual. They were all nervous and anxious to hear that the President wanted to talk to all of them about some of the decisions he had made. None of the staffers could imagine him saying he was going to resign, but then again, his wife was a doctor. But they knew whatever decision he made would be made with careful consideration, and the American people in mind. 

A few minutes later, Leo, Toby, Josh and CJ all arrive outside the master bedroom in the Residence. The guard standing beside the door promptly lets them in. 

This time when they all walked into his bedroom, they noticed that he didn't look as good as he did yesterday. The bags under the President's eyes were more noticeable, he looked paler, and in general, he was not the stubborn-headed democrat they all knew and loved. He looked like a small child about to confess to his parents that he stole the cookie from the cookie jar. 

When the President didn't say anything, everyone greeted in unison. "Good morning, Mr. President." 

Jed nodded and cleared his throat. "Good morning, all. I'd offer you all a seat, but there doesn't seem to be enough. Why don't you just come a little closer so I don't have to shout?" 

The group filed around the end of the bed. 

"Good morning, sir. I believe you wanted to see us altogether." Leo states as more of a question. 

"Yes, that's right. In the past twenty-four hours I have been seeking the support and advice of intelligent individuals whom I admire and respect. Among the long list, I spoke with doctors awarded Nobel prizes, economists, my Priest, and various aides and lawyers. And, for some reason I have a slight recollection of speaking with Paul McCartney, but that may have been a dream. The point is, I didn't want to make a decision without all of the facts and opinions. Now, I'd like to hear what all of you have to say. I don't want to hear from you what you think I should do, rather the pros and cons of each option I have. Anyone have any advice?" Jed had never been so vague. Had never asked his staff for their opinions like this. Sure he took everything they told him into consideration, but for him to come out and a blatantly say that he couldn't make a decision was very uncharacteristic. 

Everyone was silent. Leo decided to speak up. "Well, sir, what are your options?" 

Jed leans back. "It is not recommended that I finish my second term. I could resign immediately and hand over power to the Vice- President until an election occurs to have him officially voted in by the people. Or, I can wait until re-election and just drop out and then the winner will take my position. Or, I can stick it out for the 

remainder of the term. I've listed those in order of professional preference, rather than personal preference. But, I'm sure there are other options, as well." 

CJ pipes up. "Sir, you can't just resign. Think of the problems that could cause from a PR standpoint." 

"But, if your doctors are telling you not to finish the term, then that's not an option, either." Josh adds. 

"We could always call an election when we're ready and step down. Take a bit of time to tie up all the loose ends and make sure you leave with a solid legacy." Toby states without enthusiasm. Truth be told, his mind was still back with CJ, lying in her bed with his arms and legs entwined with hers. He could still remember the feel of her 

and how she smelled and tasted. Still remembered what a great kisser she was. It was getting harder and harder not to just grab her and pull her into his arms right now. 

"I like Toby's idea." The President states, staring into the air as if it were the first time any one had mentioned that option. 

"I do, too." Leo agrees. 

"Are you sure it won't affect your recovery?' Josh enquires, still concerned. 

Jed sighs and rolls his eyes. "Of course it will affect my recovery, Josh. But, sometimes we have to do what's best for the American people. Plus, I really don't want to be known as the quitter." 

"Sir, no one will think you're a quitter. Most people respect and admire you as much as all of us do." It wasn't the warmest statement on CJ's part, but she didn't want to go overboard. 

"Oh, well, thank you, CJ, but I'm not so sure about that." Jed laughs softly. 

Toby smiles. "Don't mind CJ, sir, she's just very sentimental." Toby winks at CJ, playfully. It was hard to look at her and not smile. It was eerie. 

"Toby!" CJ raises her voice and almost laughs. 

"What? It's not you fault the President's your only male hero." Toby's still laughing. 

"Toby!" CJ is still shocked to hear Toby say that in front of everyone. 

Everyone is watching the exchange between CJ and Toby with surprise. It was not common for CJ and Toby to be so friendly at work. 

Jed has stopped laughing. "I'm a hero to you, CJ?" 

CJ sighs and blushes. "Sir..." 

"You're a hero to all of us, sir." Josh smiles, relieving CJ of her discomfort. 

Leo smiles and rolls his eyes. "Alright, kids, let's get back to business." 

Jed nods. "Yes, so I like Toby's plan. What do the rest of you think?" 

Leo looks at the others. "Sir, you've talked to dozens of doctors and the Pope. You're honestly asking our opinion? 

"Yes, not only because this will affect all of you significantly, but also because in my opinion, no doctor could compete with the wonder that is the four of you put together." Jed winks. 

* * *

CJ sighs with content. "You know, if we keep doing this, I'm going to start to get used to sleeping next to you." 

Toby merely smiles, pulling CJ closer to him, under the covers of his bed, later that night. "I wouldn't mind that in the least." 

It had all started earlier that day at work. A little while after they had visited the President, CJ had returned to her office to read the material for her afternoon briefing. Then Josh had walked in... 

"CJ, Josh is here." Carol poked her head around the door. 

CJ looks up from the computer screen. "Send him in." 

Immediately Josh pokes his head into the office. "Hey, Toby's not around, is he?" Josh asks as he steps into the room and slumps down on the couch. 

CJ shakes her head, then starts to blush. Why was Josh really asking that? "Uh, why would you think he'd be around here?" 

Josh looks back at CJ suspiciously. "Uh, no reason. I just wanted to talk about the, ya know, the surprise... thing." 

CJ smiles, relieved Josh wasn't assuming she'd be with Toby. "Well, it's going to be on the 29th . That way it's about a week before his actual birthday and he won't suspect it." She returns back to her work. 

"Great. What can I do?" Josh sits up and leans forward. 

CJ looks back at Joshing, peering at him through her glasses. "You want to help? You, Josh Lyman?" 

Josh rolls his eyes, a little uncomfortable. "Yeah, is that so hard to believe? It's not a big deal, really. I think we should do something nice for Toby." 

CJ smiles. "You really are sweet sometimes. Now, go back to work. I'll make a list and let you know if there's anything I need your help with." 

Josh stands up. "Okay, but just for the record, I'm the one that's supposed to tell you to get back to work." 

CJ shakes her head, affectionately. "Yes, but you've never had to do that to date. So, get out of my office." 

Josh turns to leave, then looks back at CJ. "You think the President really meant it when he said the four of us were unstoppable together? I mean, you, me, Toby and Leo." 

CJ looks up again. "Well, when you surround yourself with the best..." She winks. 

Josh looks serious as he walks out. "Yeah, we are the best. We're the men...Well..." 

* * *

Toby entered CJ's office shortly after Josh had left. 

CJ doesn't look up from the papers she is reading. "What's up, Pokey?" 

Toby steps in front of her desk. "Take a walk with me." He asks nonchalantly. 

CJ looks up at Toby through her glasses. "This must be a really slow day because it looks like I'm the only one doing anything today. I have to work, Toby, sorry." She goes back to her reading. 

"Please, it won't take long?" 

CJ sighs. "Fine. You've got five minutes, max." She stands up and follows Toby out of the office. "Carol, I'll be back in five." 

"Okay, but you've got to prep the President for the press conference in fifteen minutes." Carol calls after CJ. 

Turning a corner, CJ turns to Toby. "Where are we going, and why?" 

Toby smiles suspiciously. "A little place in the West Wing I know is never occupied. As for why, well I just wanted to go to a place where I can hold your hand." He smiles, leading CJ down corridor after corridor until they reach a hallway CJ hadn't known existed. 

"Where are we?" CJ enquires as they stop and examine a deserted hallway. 

"I'd like to think of it as our spot. A place where we can meet without worrying about the watchful eyes of the press." 

CJ stares around the dark hallway, then she turns to Toby and smiles coyly. "And, what exactly are we going to do here that the reporters can't see?" 

Toby takes both of CJ's hands in his and leans in for a gentle kiss. 

"Mmm." CJ smiles as she pulls her lips away from his. "This could be fun, but just down that last corridor we passed are dozens of people who could easily catch us." 

They continue to hold each other's hands. "Well, this corridor isn't even lit, so I'm doubting anyone will come down here anytime soon. Plus, if we have to sneak around, we might as well make the most of it." 

CJ smiles seductively. "How's this for making the most of it?" She leans into claim a passionate kiss. 

Toby winces when they break off. "God, I've missed you today." 

CJ looks at Toby, confused. "What do you mean?" 

Toby. "This.. Us. I can't stand not being with you." 

CJ smiles, warmed, wrapping her arms around Toby's neck. "Toby, you know you've always got me. I'll always be here." 

Toby looks away. "It's not enough. I want to be able to tell everyone and celebrate this. I don't want to miss you like this." 

"Toby," CJ looked at him, pleadingly. "We have to be patient. Don't worry, everything will work out. We're secure enough to handle this. Understand?" 

Toby turned away, obviously upset. "My five minutes are up. You better get back to prep the President." 

CJ sighs and releases her hold on Toby, feeling slightly dismissed. It wasn't her fault they had very public jobs and reputations to withhold. They couldn't just walk down the West Wing holding hands and expect everyone to look away. Their relationship had to be handled delicately before word of it got into the wrong hands. 

* * *

A couple of hours later, Toby comes back to stand in CJ's door frame. 

"Carol gone?" He asks, looking back and noticing that no one had told him not to go in. 

CJ doesn't look up. "Yeah, like ten minutes ago. What can I do for you?" It was apparent that she was still upset about their earlier "outing". 

"Come home with me." Toby says, bluntly. 

This causes CJ to look up at Toby's open and honest face. 

"Look," He starts, coming toward her desk. "I was an idiot back there, earlier. I shouldn't have done that to you. I know you'd want to tell everyone if you could. The fact is, you're right. We have to take this slowly, and I realize that now." 

"Then why did you invite me to your apartment?" 

"Because, I thought you might like to join me for a drink. And, because I owe you, and want to show you my appreciation." Toby says, shying away. 

CJ laughs out loud. "And because you want to get laid? Please, Toby, I've heard it many a time before." 

Tony's jaw drops in genuine shock that CJ would assume that of him. "CJ..." Was all he could mouth. 

CJ looks up at Toby's surprised face. "Toby, I was joking." 

"Well I wasn't. I really want to do something nice for you... And, I really want to be with you, tonight." He searches for his pockets to rest his hands in. 

CJ smiles. "You are too cute when you blush. Alright, as long as we do everything at my pace. And trust me, you'll like it. Just give me a minute here."... 

Later that night*** 

"Maybe you wouldn't mind it, but if I start to get too close too you, I could get clingy." CJ smiles, shifting on top of Toby, slightly. 

"Impossible." Toby breathes. "This is too nice. Plus, no one knows of the President being asked to resign because of his health." 

CJ rests her head on Toby's chest. "Let's not talk about work." 

"Okay," Toby drawls, letting a strand of CJ's hair fall between his fingers. "I was wondering if you could make me a personal promise." 

CJ pushes herself up slightly, to look at Toby. "What kind of promise?" She knew she was getting excited for nothing. After all, they had technically only been together for a couple of short days. 

Toby sighs softly as he encourages CJ to lean on him again. "I want you to promise me that you'll look for a new apartment. I checked out some information on your building and the surrounding neighbourhood on my lunch hour, and quite frankly I'm concerned." 

CJ shakes her head, affectionately. "Toby, there's no reason to be." 

"Yes, there is a reason. There's been shootings, robberies, rapes, you name it, all in that area. I'm worried about you going back there-especially late at night as you're prone to do." 

"Toby..." 

"Please, CJ. Look, I don't care what it takes. I'll help you look for a new place. I just don't want to have to worry about you." 

CJ sighs, giving in. "I had fully intended on finding a new place myself. And, I will as soon as I get the time." 

Both CJ and Toby had sat up by now. 

Toby shakes his head. "That's not soon enough. I think that this weekend we should go to your apartment, give your landlord his notice, and pack up your things. Then we can start to look for a new place for you. In the meantime, you can stay with me." 

"Toby, that'll never work." CJ states, curling back into Toby and lying down. 

"Why not? That way we wouldn't have to sneak out when we go home together, because we could tell everyone that you're just staying with me until you find a new apartment." 

It was funny, really, how he had planned the whole thing out. "Okay, I'll make you a deal." CJ turns on her elbows to face Toby. "I will look for a new apartment if you make a promise to me." 

Toby smiles, relieved. "Anything." 

CJ lays back against Toby. "Promise me you'll quit smoking." 

"What?" Toby asks, calmly. 

"Toby, it really bothers me that you smoke. I'm worried about your health." CJ's eyes are begging and desperate. It is obvious that this is something that has been troubling her for a long time. 

Toby rubs CJ's shoulder. "Ceej, I'm not a heavy smoker." 

CJ sighs softly. "I know, but you know how bad it is for you. Heart disease, cancer, emphysema... you name it." 

Toby smiles, affectionately. "I'm not going to get any of those, CJ." 

"You don't know that. There are no guarantees. And... it's just that... I don't want to lose you. You're the only person in my life's who's always been there. You're, you're my rock. The one thing that I can cling to, and you won't let go. And it feels so good to finally be able to tell myself that is for real, and that I can let myself need 

you." 

There was so much raw emotion in her tone that it just made Toby want to pull her in closer that she already is. "And I am so glad that you have reached that point. And I promise, you won't regret it. I swear to you that I'm not going anywhere. You can hold on forever, and you'll never have to worry about me budging. You're everything to me, CJ." He rubs her slender arms in his palms and kisses her neck. 

CJ merely sighs. It was true. It didn't matter if they had to pretend they weren't a couple at work, or even in public. They were together, the needed each other, and they both knew that. They needed nothing else. 

The End 


End file.
